Find Out How To Never Give Up

Feeling Like Giving Up? Read This Before You Do

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Originally Published on May 22, 2021By Christopher Fern


What do anger, shame, remorse, guilt, frustration, overwhelm, indecisiveness, scarcity, and fear all have in common? When an emotional response occurs, the amygdala – the part of the brain most often referred to as “snake brain” takes hold, causing you to “process” the emotions. What’s actually happening then is that we’re living a memory from the past in the now – a form of time travel: the mind knows no different.

It’s up to you how you want to leave it though. The way you feel is determined by how you linked those two things. The way you feel when you’re triggered again is about how you link them now. When you’re inspired, it’s the same except you’re applying excitement or fear to the life you could have, not the life you do.

Step 1 – Realize You’re Drunk and You Don’t Even Know It

In a recent study conducted by Harvard Scientists, “Bandwidth Tax” was discovered, and fundamentally means you’re walking around drunk. It also happens way sooner than you think. 

“[The] effects [of the two groups’ questions] correspond to between 13 and 14 IQ points. A gain of that many points can lift you from the category of “average” to “superior” intelligence. Or, if you move in the other direction, losing 13 points can take you from “average” to a category labeled “borderline-deficient.” In our studies, the same person has fewer IQ points when he or she is preoccupied with scarcity than when not. This cognitive penalty is the key to our story.” 

And when this happens, it’s a perpetual cycle. This is the origin of stress, burnout, or overwhelm lives here, and is perpetuated by it.

Step 2 – Notice Repetitive Decisions

In order to reduce bandwidth tax, you must reduce the number of things you’re paying attention to and the frequency at which you’re paying attention to them. To do so requires identifying repetitive patterns and minimizing them.

When I was a boy, my mother calculated her budget the same way every month – she pulled out her pen and paper, started with her fixed income, subtracted expenses, and hoped for the best. Same numbers, same math, different expectations. And to top it off, we always ran out of money! 

I couldn’t help but wonder, why was she acting as if anything else mattered other than what was left after bills? Her income didn’t change. The expenses didn’t change. But she kept running the same numbers, arriving at the same conclusion of having a certain amount left over, and doing it every month.

Don’t be like my late mother. Be on time. Take a look in these areas for repeating decisions:

  • Is there a consistent outcome – like cash flow with my mother? Focus on the abbreviated form you can trust.
  • Do you find that you spend impulsively under certain conditions? You can predict the conditions and the impulse. 
  • Are you using lists? Despite popular opinion, lists create bandwidth tax. Best to find a way to minimize what you see at once. 
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison

Step 3 – Create a Metric

You need a metric to measure your effectiveness. Metrics give you measurable and attainable ways to recognize improvements.

Some examples are:

  • In the case of my dearly departed mother:  “cash leftover” or “time it takes to budget” could be the result of the consolidation we just discussed. 
  • With Bandwidth Tax the metric is IQ.
  • Time is always a good metric because it’s the only thing we’re limited by. It can also apply to almost anything that causes inconvenience.

This metric should be how you measure all decisions of the same type. It’s the thing that tells you if you’re essentially 4 beers in, just 1, or none at all. It’s something that should be countable but has to apply to your situation. This will create meaning in your productivity.

Step 4 – Batch Process

Now that we have metrics for all of these things that cause Bandwidth Tax, we can go even further. How can we begin to manage all of the metrics? Simple – batch processing. 

I remember in high school I saw a teacher grading papers, and he was grading all of them at once – literally.  “By grading all of the questions 1 first, then all of the question 2’, it’s much faster because my mind doesn’t have to keep ‘question switching’“ he said when I asked why. This stuck with me, and it began my deep dive into this phenomenon.

Also known as Chunking, batch processing allows us to focus on doing things of a similar type over time to reduce bandwidth tax. It’s very similar to keeping that paper to budget, then using it for another family member. The goal with Chunking is to make it seem to your mind like all of the tasks you’re doing are so similar they might as well be the same, thereby reducing Bandwidth Tax. This is like focus, but further.

Step 5 – Ritual

But we can go, even so, one step further. And this is the step that will solidify the claim that we can trust our decisions in any state. This is the principle of Habitualization, or simple – Ritual. 

This step involves making a groove in your mind so clearly – a groove that represents the stepwise, never-changing, very simple WAY of doing a thing that depends heavily on all that we’ve talked about.  A ritual, or habit, tells the mind that it can, fundamentally, consider something so trustworthy it can be ignored. This is the opposite of bandwidth tax. 

With any of the things we’ve worked on in this article, ask yourself how you might be able to “program” them into you. If there are changes to consider, can you consider them all at once?

 

Those programs are going to be the new subconscious, controlling the amygdala, and to do all 5 of these steps will make the thing that once made you act as if you were drunk seem like you’re simply taking a sip of wonderful spring water. RELATED TOPICS:BANDWIDTH TAXCLARITYCLEAR MINDFEELINGSGIVING UPINTERNAL PROGRAMSMINDSETTHOUGHTSUP NEXTThe Secret to Your Weekly SuccessDON’T MISSBurnout Is Real. Here Are Five Strategies to Manage It

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Christopher Fern

Christopher Fern is an author, inventor, and entrepreneur. His innovative approaches to coaching, education, and psychology fueled the creation of Mindful Money, a self-mastery platform that effectively aligns responsibility, values, feelings, and impulses regardless of your emotional state have resulted in his being featured in media such as Shefik Presents Invocation, The Good Men Project, the Sourcitarian Summit, Thrive Global, and more. To Christopher, being aware of our weaknesses is as important as our strengths, as they provide the Bias Blueprint for us to know where and how to fit in the world. To learn more, visit christopherfern.com and practicemindfulmoney.com.

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Giving up Is Not an Option! How to Not Give up and Stay Motivated (lifehack.org)


How to Work Remotely and Succeed

Does Remote Work Really Work? 4 CEOs on the Future of Their Workplaces

BY CHRISTINE LAGORIO-CHAFKIN@LAGORIO

Does Remote Work Really Work? 4 CEOs on the Future of Their Workplaces
Is work … a place? Founders are divided on whether to return to their old way of doing business.

Founders and executives around the globe have taken lessons learned over the past year to inform their view of what their workplace will look like in the future. At this week’s Collision conference, the future of the workplace was top-of-mind–though founders had a wide diversity of expectations about how their companies will work coming out of the pandemic. Here are a few of the most fascinating.

More satisfied, talented, global workforces

Phil Libin, the founder of Evernote, All Turtles, and upstart video-presentation platform Mmhmm, says having gone all-virtual has given his company superpowers–and he’s not willing to give those up by returning to a physical office. He has vowed with his most recent two companies that his teams will never return to offices post-pandemic. The first superpower he cited was the ability to hire talent not just locally–but anywhere in the world. “All of our job listings say ‘global,'” he said Wednesday. “I’m never putting the ‘in’ back in place.”

Second superpower: not commuting. “Why would I ever give up the superpower of giving every person on my team two extra hours a day?” And third: helping employees avoid the extreme expense of housing in major cities. “Why could every person on my team not live in a nice house with a nice school district, if that’s what they want?” he says.

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Remote work requires different processes than office work

Jason Fried, the founder of Basecamp and author of Remote: Office Not Required, is firmly anti-Zoom and pro-asynchronous work at his all-remote company, which makes tools for employee communication. Now that much of the rest of the office-worker world has experienced remote work over the past year, he’s hoping other companies embrace a bigger idea: that the nature and strengths of remote work are very different than in-person work.

For employees on dedicated projects, requiring focus or creative critical thinking, working remotely can be far more productive than working in an office, he says. But a lot of companies are doing it wrong–allowing the digital distractions of constant Slack notices and interruptions of Zoom meetings to disrupt the workflow afforded by solitary work at home. He advises helping employees manage their own time and get the most out of long stretches of solo work by keeping important decisions out of real-time chat. “The expectation of immediate response is really toxic,” he says. “What’s healthy is giving people long stretches of time to do their work without … the pressure to pay attention to a dozen real-time decisions at once.”

Teams have the opportunity to work smarter and more empathically

Jonathan Notaro, the founder, and chief creative officer at Brand New School, a branding agency that works in production, said this year of all-remote work has made harnessing his teams’ creativity more challenging. “So much of our work happens through discourse,” he said at Collision Thursday. “Those pieces of magic are so much harder to harvest in this environment.”

But he’s seen bright spots–and moments that made his company stronger. Having Zoom windows into colleagues’ and employees’ homes has given him insight into their personal priorities and passions, and brought his team closer. “You start to think more about their personal lives,” he said, “because it’s right there. I think that’s been a real gem from this whole experience. It’s made us all closer.” Brand New School has had to think harder about scheduling and is more disciplined about meetings after a year of remote working. Notaro said: “I feel like we’ve become more focused.”

Office work and gathering will be a lot more exciting

The founder and CEO of Eventbrite, Julia Hartz, saw her company’s revenue drop to zero as the pandemic hit in March of 2020. After two rounds of financing and a company restructuring in the first 90 days of work-from-home, her company saw a boom in digital events. Now, as restrictions on gatherings lift around the globe, she’s expecting the physical event ecosystem to flourish as well. “We are heading into a Roaring ’20s! Never underestimate the power of humans who feel they deserve something,” she said.

As for the return to work, Hartz doesn’t expect all her employees immediately to start daily commuting but says since Eventbrite was founded on the premise of gathering in person, the company will continue to operate office “hubs” around the world where employees can work and meet. “If we do it right, people will look forward to coming to the office, to see each other and to collaborate,” she said.Inc. helps entrepreneurs change the world. Get the advice you need to start, grow, and lead your business today. Subscribe here for unlimited access.

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The Benefits of Working From Home: Why The Pandemic Isn’t the Only Reason to Work Remotely | FlexJobs

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How to Become a Leader

10 Traits an Inspired Leader Must Have
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Originally Published on Apr 10, 2021 ByMarie Barnes


Leading people is not an easy task. A thousand and one responsibilities fall on your shoulders. After all, leaders are the safeguard against chaos. They are the engine of a group. What defines a great leader? An upright stance and a proud poise? Intelligence and valiance? The will of steel and steadfast determination? Often, we seek something in the leaders we lack. However, different challenges require different qualities from a chief. So, we may spend days enumerating all the possible traits a leader could have. There is no limit to perfection. Instead, we will concentrate on a specific side of a leader – his attitude towards the others.

The way you treat people makes them respond accordingly. Obviously, you can choose the path of tyranny, fear, and oppression to be an effective leader. You will force people to do things, they will obey, and technically you are a leader. But this is a slippery slope. Coup d’états and rebellions are the results of such leadership. If you want to be the one that people follow deliberately and with loyalty, you should possess the next traits. 

1. Determination

Let’s start with the obvious. You must be determined enough to get somewhere and not give up on the way. A determination is an obligatory minimum for a leader. People will not follow if you cannot move forward. They need inspiration, and you give it to them through action. 

2. Responsibility

Being a leader means you are responsible for the team. Every member of your group confides in your decision-making abilities. You cannot let them down. Your purpose is to lead them. In other words, wherever your team ends up, it is your victory or failure. You are the face of your group. When everything goes to hell, you are the first to meet the devil. If you can bear that burden, the leadership is for you.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” — John Maxwell

 

3. Genuine Empathy

Empathy is how well you can understand the emotions of others. It is the key to successful relations with anyone. If you feel what another person feels, you can better navigate through the reality of that person. Understanding their pain, you are more prone to help – it is becoming personal for you. 

There are many ways to show empathy: listen more, be attentive to others, do not judge hastily. It is not about forgetting your problems and turning into the selfless altruist to the end of your days. It is about paying attention. Just give a bit of your warmth to others along the way and try to understand them. Maybe, you can help them somehow. People remember such things, and they will respect you.

4. Positivity

Positivity is a useful tool. We all have dark moments in our lives, and unless we have a light with us, it is easy to get lost in the darkness. The moodiness stretches out, everything is dull and gloomy, and irritation takes its place. We snap at each other, but nothing resolves. Ill humor is a tricky enemy: it makes you forget about good times and joy. If you can fight that with optimism, then you have a torch to lead others through the darkness. People will seek your company to get warmer, and they will be happy to have you as their leader. 

5. Open-mindedness

You should not be close-minded, being intolerant to different people or ideas. If you cannot accept something new, alien, or better because of your personal preferences, fear, or pride, you will have problems. Times are a-changin’, as Bob Dylan sang, and so is the world. To keep up with the innumerous trends and progress, you need to get on board with it. Also, it simplifies your communication with other people as their personality does not affect your judgment.

6. Ability to Learn

This is the logical continuation of the previous paragraph. The ability to grow, adapt, and acquire new skills is a must for a leader. Learning from your mistakes is another thing. Everyone makes mistakes. Leaders do as well. However, accepting your failures and learning from them is important. Do not let ignorance take hold of you.

7. Straightforwardness

Sometimes, team members can make a mistake. Do you have it in yourself to show them their fault? Can you reprimand or fire someone if the need arises? You are responsible for your team, remember? If someone jeopardizes its future, you must deal with this person. You cannot play only a good cop here. 

8. Humility

Can you bide your mistakes? Can you ask for help from your fellow team member? Your ego and pride should not stand in your way. You are not some infallible machine that should perform flawlessly. You cannot know everything. A team works as one, and you are a part of it – ask for advice or support when needed.

 

9. Approachability

Other team members should not fear coming up to you. If they are afraid of reaching out, you have a lack of trust. It might lead to secrets and unspoken words. Secrets are bombs with a long fuse, of which you do not know. To avoid that, you need to establish an open-door policy. Work on your relationship with the team: your leadership depends on it. 

“The price of greatness is responsibility.” – Winston Churchill

10. Self-care

The final point is all about yourself. To be the most effective, you should care about your well-being. Your physical and mental health are the fuel of your energy. You cannot be optimistic, think a few steps ahead, make decisions, and be an inspiring example for others when your mind and soul are in the wrong place. 

We often tend to forget about the need for rest and recreation, joy and happiness while pursuing our professional growth. There should be enough sunlight and alimentation for a plant to grow. There should also be enough good things for you to live on and succeed. 

Congratulations, if you have all those traits within yourself. You should be good at leading others. If there is something you lack, do not get upset – everything can be learned and practiced to perfection. Look it up on the internet. You can find all the answers there. 

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Marie Barnes

Marie Barnes is a Marketing Communication Manager at Adsy and an enthusiastic blogger interested in writing about technology, social media, work, travel, lifestyle, and current affairs. She shares her insights through blogging. Follow her on Medium.

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5 New Habits to Help You Cultivate a Growth Mindset

How To Cultivate a Growth Mindset!

Originally Published on Apr 3, 2021

By Samantha Madhosingh


As we raise children, we often teach them that grit, perseverance, and resilience lead to mastery and success. They do. But what are we teaching them about their intelligence and capacity to learn?  When children believe that they have been born with predetermined skills and abilities or with a fixed intelligence that they cannot change, they are more likely to avoid challenging subjects and create artificial limits on themselves that will impact them into adulthood.

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success psychologist & researcher Dr. Carol S. Dweck suggested two general mindsets: fixed and growth. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that character, intelligence, and creative ability are unmoving givens that can’t be changed in any meaningful way. Looking perfect and avoiding failure at all costs becomes a way of maintaining that inner sense of competence. When challenged or frustrated by a task, you may hear people say things like, “I’m so stupid because I don’t know how,” or “I’m lousy at this, and I can’t get any better.” They don’t know how to do something and don’t want to make an effort because they believe they should only do what they already know how to do or what feels easy. This risk-averse mindset can lead to an unwillingness to push yourself to do challenging things.

By contrast, Dweck suggests that a person with a growth mindset thrives on challenge, seeing it as a launchpad for growth and for extending existing abilities instead of evidence of unintelligence. With a growth mindset, you focus on continuous improvement and self-awareness through ongoing feedback. You recognize that you can improve through your specific efforts and deliberate practice. You can see yourself changing and growing through application and experience. Having a growth mindset means that for you, challenges are an opportunity for growth. You understand that your brain can learn new, complex tasks (at any age) and develop with training and effort. You may start thinking things like, “I can do hard things,” “It’s ok to make a mistake; that’s how I learn,” “With practice, I can and will get better.”

“In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.” – Carol S. Dweck

So why is it vital to know about and develop a growth mindset?

The truth is that having a growth mindset and doing the hard things will absolutely help you accomplish more than you could even imagine. However, if you were born and raised in the 20th century, you were most likely not raised with a growth mindset. Before 2006, when Dweck’s Mindset book was published, children were more likely to be raised to believe that talent, intelligence, and ability are given at birth and governed by genetics. There are probably several skills and abilities that many may have given up on developing or not focused their efforts on because they believe that they lack the capacity to do them well. When they allow their default programming and conditioning to dictate how much effort is put into learning new skills without challenging norms, they will be subconsciously holding themselves back and miss out on exploring the outer limits of their talents.

I know that for me, there have been many times in my life that I just decided, “I am not good at that,” and just avoided the challenge. I, like many others of my generation, grew up having a fixed mindset. For example, I was convinced that I was no good at math. As a result, I did not like it and made little effort because it seemed too hard. My fear and loathing of all things math-related meant that I did not get my bachelor’s degree in psychology or business, subjects I really liked, because both had an advanced math requirement, and I was certain I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

The ironic thing, however, is that ultimately, I had no choice but to overcome my conviction that I was lousy at math if I wanted to pursue any degree in psychology. I was required to take a statistics class at the undergraduate level to get into a program and then a graduate-level research and statistics course. What I learned by completing both courses with an “A” was that by being willing to ask a million questions and putting maximum effort into understanding what seemed challenging, I could do things I had previously believed were not possible for me.  At the time, I did not know that I was applying the principles of having a growth mindset.

If you have a fixed mindset, here are five habits to help you cultivate a growth mindset. For the next 90 days, focus intentionally on integrating them into your daily life; being intentional means writing them down, thinking about them, and asking yourself, honestly, if you are using them.

  1. Be Curious and creative. Challenge yourself to learn something new every day and go beyond your comfort zone. You will discover new strategies to implement that will help you achieve goals you previously thought were impossible or too difficult. Keep tweaking them for effectiveness. 
  2. Be Committed to the growth, goals, & promises you make to yourself. If you want to see progress, it is essential to toss out the excuses and stay the course. Decide what you are going to do and that there is no room for excuses. Commit to your decision and then do what you have committed to for the time you have committed to doing it. Hold yourself accountable for your commitments. 
  3. Be Consistent with your efforts. Consistency is the key to developing new habits and learning new things. It is also usually one of our biggest hurdles and where good intentions fall apart. Be focused on your efforts. Decide what, when, and how you will channel 
  4. Be Courageous in the face of challenges. Setbacks and challenges are learning opportunities. They are your most significant opportunity for growth. Embrace them. Seek solutions and make adjustments. No matter how exhaustive your plan or fine-tuned the details, obstacles will surface unexpectedly and, unless you have a crystal ball, you won’t always be able to predict exactly what obstacles will occur. So, don’t waste energy on that. Instead, face obstacles when they show up with the lens of curiosity and be focused on solutions. Be agile in both your mindset and approach. 
  5. Embrace Constructive feedback & leverage it for growth & expansion. Sometimes your best prospects for personal and professional development come from utilizing corrective feedback to grow. Ask mentors and supervisors for specific feedback to give you clarity on the skills needed to move forward and the blind spots, obstacles, and pitfalls you may not be able to see by yourself.

By deliberately and intentionally focusing on these five habits daily, your life and work will shift positively in ways you can’t imagine. You will have more confidence because confidence is built through working on your skills and seeing growth and improvement over time. Making an effort is the only way forward, so be willing to do the work. Each new day is an opportunity to try again, so try again.

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15 Ways to Build a Growth Mindset | Psychology Today

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Samantha Madhosingh

Dr. Samantha Madhosingh has dedicated the last 20 years to researching, understanding, & solving the infinite possibilities of human potential, behavior, & performance. She trains leaders on how to dismantle & unlearn the stories & biases that impact progress. Leaders who work closely with her achieve mastery in mindset, communication, & relationships. Dr. Samantha has authored & co-authored four books & appeared on CW, FOX, NBC, CBS, Emotional MoJo, Daytime and Heart&Soul. Learn more at https://askdrsamantha.com.